By Nnaoke Ufere, PhD
Please refrain from mourning and sending condolences when I pass away,
Instead, come forth now and speak kind words of me, for the departed hear no tales beyond the grave.
Avoid crafting flowery tributes and lauding me when life has left my frame,
Instead, offer heartfelt words while I can savor them, for in death, I cannot read or comprehend.
Refrain from delivering eulogies proclaiming your profound love after I depart,
Instead, express your affection today, when I can bask in the warmth of your love-filled heart.
Don’t shed tears for my absence when I am no longer here,
Rather, share smiles with me now, for tears hold no solace when we cannot perceive tears.
Abstain from celebrating my life solely when I am lifeless,
Instead, join me in jubilation today, while I am alive and full of zest.
Desist from posting poignant messages on social media, lamenting my departure and longing for my return,
Instead, grace me with your presence today, while I am here, and let our connections brightly burn.
Discard the notion of wearing expensive funeral uniform or Aso ebi, as you bid me farewell,
Instead, present yourself today as you are, and let us revel in fellowship’s delightful spell.
Refrain from soliciting contributions for my funeral’s expenses,
For money spent on funeral cannot purchase the elation of companionship while I’m alive, it fails to offer true life’s essence.
Resist the urge to bring libations, cows, matching bands, funeral dancers, or photograph my final resting place,
Instead, partake in a shared feast with me now, relishing each bite and embrace.
Abandon the idea of hiring a videographer and photographer to capture my lifeless form,
Instead, capture precious moments with me in the flesh, a testament to our bond that’s warm.
Refrain from touching my lifeless self in a cold coffin’s embrace,
Rather, extend your hand and touch me now, when I can savor your gentle and warm embrace.
Spare the expense of an extravagant Igbo burial, forgo the pomp and lavish show,
Instead, employ those funds to nurture my well-being when illness seeks to overthrow.
Abstain from reminiscing solely on how I used to be,
Instead, visit me today and witness the person I’ve become, oh, the change you will see.
Therefore, my cherished friends and family, let us revel and make merry today,
For tomorrow’s promise is uncertain, and I urge you not to delay.
If your care for me is genuine and true,
Send your tributes and heartfelt sentiments while I am still alive, for that’s when they’ll imbue.
